Matt Granfield.com
Dear…
Honesty, shoplifting, and other assorted moral dilemmas
Dear Mum, Last week Annik walked past a person who may or may not have been lying dead in a park. She didn’t stop to help, but she thought about it, which was nice. She’s a writer so she wrote about it. It was an interesting moral dilemma. I have a confession mum. I bought [...]
Dear Dad, we don’t need to turn the boats away, we need to send them back for more…
Dear Dad, Imagine if there was a civil war in Australia. Not like the State of Origin dad, a proper civil war. With guns. Imagine if the indigenous population teamed up with all the other non-white recent immigrants in an attempt to remove white Australians from power in a game of black people vs. white [...]
Dear Chris Leese from Marcus Evans
From: Chris Leese [mailto:ChrisL@marcusevansuk.com] Sent: Thursday, 2 December 2010 7:36 PM To: matt@dialogix.c*m.au Subject: Contact from marcus evans. Dear Mr. Granfield, I have received your details from a colleague in Sydney. I understand that you have received a number of calls from various Marcus Evans representatives over recent months and would prefer a more channeled [...]
A Splendour Report for my Friend Lulu who was in Stockholm
Dear Lulu, I can’t be honest about how perfectly amazing Splendour was because you’ll cry. It was better than everything else in the entire world. I put some more pics up if you want to take a peek. Sarah had better band photos, my camera didn’t like the lights, but it does make everything look [...]
Dear @Telstra
Dear @Telstra, I’ve travelled a lot. Asia is one of my favourite places in the world, and even though I’m scared of volcanos, and don’t eat rice anymore, I was really looking forward to going back. Unfortunately, thanks to your inept call centres, I’ve spent more time this morning bouncing around between The Philippines and [...]
Dear Rice, it’s been fun, but it’s over…
Dear Rice, You’re cheaper than pasta, tastier than bread and when you find yourself in the company of a little avocado salsa and some beans, you go even better with sour cream than a baked potato. Until yesterday I thought you were infallible. You were the food equivalent of the friend who is always there [...]
Dear Mum
Dear Mum, I launched this new blog/website about two hours ago, so you will no doubt have found it by now because I know that since I put you on limited profile on Facebook you like to Google me and check my Twitter account to see what I’m up to. Firstly, welcome. This is a [...]
Dear Steven Conroy
Dear Stephen Conroy, Shove your ████ing internet censor up your ████ing ████. Love, (the X-rated kind), Matt
Dear Neighbour
Dearest neighbour, I can appreciate that a home must be maintained and that there are times when it is absolutely necessary to swathe through large slabs of concrete with a power saw. I can only presume your decision to undertake such scheduled home maintenance at 7am this morning was your calculated move in the game [...]
Dear Ben (banG)
(Conversation courtesy of MSN Messenger) 8:04:29PM Matt: so I locked myself out of the house this morning/last night 8:04:52PM Matt: got home at 9am and tried to kick the door down before crying on the porch 8:04:54PM bang: ohh that’s the first time you would have really missed having a gf in brisbane 8:05:01PM Matt: [...]
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