American Woman: DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
German backpacker waiting on platform of Berlin Hauptbanhoff for train to Prague: Yes
American Woman: FIRST CLASS! DO YOU KNOW WHERE IS FIRST CLASS?
German backpacker: No, sorry
American Woman: We’ve been trying to find first class. No one knows where first class is
Me: Excuse me, sorry, I overheard you asking, the first class carriage will stop in section E
American Woman: YOU SPEAK ENGLISH!
Me: Yes, I’ve even been to England
American Woman: DO YOU KNOW WHERE IS FIRST CLASS. FIRST CLASS?
Me: Yes, there’s a sign up here, it shows you, see – you need to go and wait over there in section E.
American Woman: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, I have a first class ticket too. It says carriage 262, and the sign says that carriage 262 stops in section E.
American Woman: Why aren’t you waiting there then?
Me: Because there aren’t any seats up there on the platform.
American Woman: It doesn’t look very first class.
Me: You don’t sound very first class
American Woman: I didn’t hear you
Me: Nothing

–

American Man trying to figure out what carriage to get on when train arrives: IS THIS FIRST CLASS? I CAN’T SEE.
German tourist who has no idea how to speak English: I don’t know
American Man: DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE CARRIAGE 262 IS? ANYONE? THAT LOOKS LIKE THE FIRST CLASS DINING CAR. CAN WE SIT IN THERE?
Me: Hey mate, carriage 262 is just here, see the sign there, on the door, where it says 262
American Man talking to friend: IT’S RIGHT HERE. 262 IS RIGHT HERE. THE MAN SAYS IT’S HERE. Thank you.
Me: No worries
American Man: Do they speak English on the train?
Me: I imagine they will speak a little bit of English
American Man: Why doesn’t anybody speak English
Me: I speak English
American Man: But none of the staff. Why don’t they speak English.
Me: Because we’re in Germany