Dear Dad (Imagine if you were an asylum seeker)

2009
11.11

Dear Dad,

Imagine there’s a civil war in Australia. The indigenous population teams up with all the other non-white migrants in an attempt to remove white Australians from power and remove any influence white Australians and Christians have over the country and its culture. Imagine if the aboriginal/multi-cultural coalition wins the war and they make life hard for white Australians. They kill lots of us, remove any influential white people from power, ban white books, white TV presenters, and generally make life miserable for anyone who is white or from an aglo-celtic background. They take our passports and ban us from travelling outside the country. They kill anyone with white influence or power in an attempt to prevent any uprisings against the new multi-cultural, non-white regime. Every white Australian is persecuted. Anyone who was/is a vocal supporter of white Australian culture has to try and leave the country or they will almost certainly be killed, we’re talking everyone from former police and miltary officers to librarians and teachers in Christian schools.

Imagine that you have been identified by the new regime as a member of a banned religion and a business leader and they want you dead because they fear you’ll try and lead a Toowoomba-based uprising against the new regime. You can’t just turn up at an airport and hop on a plane because you don’t have a passport and if you do you will be taken away and killed and your wife tortured. And you have a beard, which they’ll find scary. You still have your birth certificate and an out-dated drivers licence which you kept hidden, but they’ve taken all other forms of your identification.

You pray for a solution and you hear that there’s a small boat leaving from Broome and it’s heading to China. It’s operated by a people-smuggling operation. You’ve heard the Chinese don’t like the new Australian regime very much and have offered asylum to white Australians in the past. The boat sounds dodgy, but you know if you stay in Australia you will certainly be killed and your wife (I call her mum) tortured, so you decide to take the risk. You can’t speak Chinese, but you know enough about China to know that it sounds better than death and torture in Australia. You’ve heard there’s a large community of white Australians living there and you decide to go for it. You get to Broome and meet up with 80 other white asylum-seekers and get on a tiny boat. You’ve never met any of them before, but one of them says he’s spent some time in Hong Kong before and he can speak the language. He’s the only one who can speak Chinese, so you decide he can be the one who does the talking when you get there.

You make the voyage and arrive in Chinese territorial waters three weeks later. They tell you to go away because they’re full and threaten to sink your boat and lock you up on a remote rat-infested island in the scorching sun and throw away the key. None of you can speak Chinese, so you ask the one guy who can to try and convince them to let you in. His picture ends up in the paper and the Chinese media finds out he was once convicted of armed robbery in Hong Kong and there is a massive public outcry. Stories run on the Chinese version of Today Tonight and the public decides there’s no way in hell a boat full of armed robbers from Australia should be let into the country. Every other country in sailing distance says they will sink your boat if you enter their waters because they don’t want armed robbers anywhere near them and they’re full anyway.

The Chinese navy tows your boat back to Australian waters and your are met by an Australian naval vessel manned by the new regime. As soon as the Chinese vessel is out of site, they take you all prisoner, ferry you away to a secret military base near Darwin, torture half of you to death and send the other half to a forced labour camp where you build railroads in the desert for the next 20 years.

Oh, and they make you cut off your beard.

That’s what we’re dealing with here dad.

Matt

peter granfield wrote:

> A copy of an article in a Cadian newspaper, sent to me by my Canadian friend.
> http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=2203768
>
> Tamil refugees with Canadian-Oz connection – shows you these guys are playing with us – none should be accepted. Way haven’t we had this on Australian TV?

Tags:

5 Responses to “Dear Dad (Imagine if you were an asylum seeker)”

  1. kat says:

    This is really… great. Well done on changing the perspective, the angle. Let me Twitter dat!

  2. Aww, thanks Kat! I think I could have crafted this a bit better but I just fired it off quickly in repsonse to an email from Dad. (Sorry for making you cannon fodder Dad! I do love you!)

  3. [...] Read this with your eyes closed to imagine better.  This is really real. Think About this blog everytime you go to sleep, wake thinking about, cause maybe then you will rethink the statement…… [...]

  4. Panda Bamboo says:

    Fuck dude. Every person who reads this should retweet/facebook/blog.

    why isn’t this in the fucking newspaper putting someone out of a job.

    your OK Matthew Granfield

Your Reply